I Am a Pigeon

My name is Mark, and I am a pigeon. You are probably surprised that a pigeon has a name. You are probably even more surprised that a pigeon can speak and write proper English – or any human language.   Yes, I am a pigeon. Every day, at five o’clock in the morning, when you are sleeping, I am at your window. Why am I there? I stare at you, waiting for you to wake up. Why? I don’t know. Pigeons don’t have much brain from what I know. Some days, I’m waiting for you to feed me. Other days, I get bored, so I sit next to your window, staring at you, looking at you as you sleep. Yes, I can be intrusive. But I am a pigeon, so you don’t notice or care.   After you wake up, take a shower, brush your teeth, and get out the door, I follow you. I am everywhere you go. Sometimes, you may not notice me. Other times, I just get lost in a large crowd of pigeons. No matter what, I am there, looking over your shoulder.   When you are waiting for the bus, I may take a poo next to you. Sometimes, even on your shoulder. After I am done, you curse me, saying mean things about my mother and pigeons in general. Still, you do not realize that I am the same pigeon every time.   When you stare out the window, from your office, I come next. I stare at you, consistently, insistently. Sometimes, you look into my pigeon eyes, without realizing that it is I, Mark, who always comes. I am always at your office’s window, but you don’t realize it, because we pigeons all look the same to you.   On the weekend, when you are on a date in a public park, you may feed me to impress a young lady. However, you don’t realize that you are feeding the same pigeon who is stalking you at five o'clock in the morning, who follows you to work, who stares into your eyes during work hours. You don’t realize that because we pigeons all look the same to you, don’t we?   You don’t realize it, but you have been feeding me for years because you cannot tell one pigeon from another. We have a close bond, closer than you could have ever imagined having with a pigeon.   My name is Mark, and I am a pigeon. Flying from one part to the other of the city, I have witnessed your life. I know more about you than your mother or best friend knows. I’ll keep going along your way until the end of my pigeon life.   Why do I do that? I have no idea. We pigeons aren’t the smartest out there. We are mostly known for pooping on car windows and eating everything humans offer. A less-known fact about us is that we choose people to stalk all our lives, and I am your stalker. I am Mark the Pigeon.